Wednesday, November 18, 2009

post #20



stop squinting so hard trying to figure it out...
that is in fact not the leaning tower of Pisa. what that is, is in fact a midget lock-job. you see, midget riders are nothing like taller riders on the roads. they have great difficulty reaching both their pedals and handlebars. it is a luxury we all take for granted. how was I able to determine that this was a "midget lock-job"? clearly, they needed a crappy-ass cable that would enable enough slack that a midget could lock and unlock the bike. you see how it leans so far over, close enough to the ground like so [look at picture]. what should this rider consider doing next time? well, for starters, if they are going to use a crappy-ass cable? 1) include a note that says, "please sharpen your garden shears before swiping to avoid injury," 2) make it a little bit harder for other would-be midget swipers to swipe by pulling up the slack a bit on the cable so it sits higher and/or 3) buy a real lock. NEXT!!!



it's not everyday I walk outside of my apartment and see a fight like this... after about 1 minute I decided to swipe the red bike w/ one of my new handy dandy tags after declaring it the winner. and you thought Sylvester Stallone was awesome in Over the Top. while most people would say that neither the wheels or saddle are properly locked down, I would slap them across the back of the head for not seeing the obvious here. the rider of the red bike was clearly smart enough to pull of the good ol' "decoy lock-job." this type of lock-job requires another bike which has clearly been beaten and swiped from locked up on the ground next to it... case in point... the blue bike. a would-be swiper will automatically think either a) there is a swipe in progress or b) clearly there was nothing worth stealing off of the red bike to even mess w/ it. red bike you win my heart today. NEXT!!!

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