post #17

if I were ever to get into a drunken brawl, these are the last handlebars I'd want stuck up my rear end. you see, what I don't get is how these handlebars are supposed to function. the top 3 things I can think of are 1) back scratcher, 2) secret deadly ninja weapon or 3) drying rack for pricey bras. my grandfather would win the argument that even w/ age, things still work or rust for that matter as this bike has been sitting at this spot for a month now. sure this OnGuard® chain lock is pretty well rusted to a near death, but the rider used it properly! woo hoo! in addition to securing both wheels and their frame down, they've got the ol' tubejob done up top. what could this rider have done better? picked up a can of chrome spray paint and disguised the age/neglect of their chain. NEXT!!!


I've lost all faith in crack heads, especially the one who [while posing as my super] goes through my garbage by morning and fixes bikes [in our basement] while smoking crack by night. now here we have a great example of how to lock up a bike but not really. what makes this lock job ingenious in my opinion? every last component just so happens to be rusted onto one another. even if I tempted fate and attempted to spend my unemployment activity of the day removing components, I'm pretty sure the crack pipe or broken fan blade found in the basement might scare myself (or a would-be swiper far, far away). what should this biker do next time? not a thing! nobody can do anything w/ this piece of shit so he he golden just kickstanding it out front. NEXT!!!



my week is not complete unless I come across a bike that looks like a blind man locked it up and that is JUST what this is! while looking to park my own set of 2-wheels, I walked right on by this bike, then did my bikeswiper double-take and diagnosed the blind man lock job. yup, while you think this is locked up by a cable, it is in fact... not. what is locked up here? the front wheel and the frame. what isn't locked down here? the frame w/ the front wheel and the rear wheel. what should this rider do next time? wear some glasses, invest in a u-lock and double check that their Trek® is registered w/ their local precinct. NEXT!!!


this is the saddest thing I've seen all week. what you have here is proof that the world is full of douchebags. I mean, who the hell goes after the front wheel of a 25-yr old bike? a real douchebag who wants to prove a point to a not-so-smart rider who just so happened to not lock their bike up properly. what should this rider do next time? first, buy a new front wheel, cause they help and then perhaps learn to use their chain properly. NEXT!!!
—submitted by Lopez in Brooklyn


there are many things on the streets of NYC which are not locked up properly in addition to bikes and this wheel chair is a perfect example. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that the elderly person who isn't pictured in this chair might be wandering lost somewhere in NYC. such a shame. what should this elderly person have done to secure their 4-wheels? a) stayed in their chair, b) invested in a few u-locks or a chain, c) locked the f*cking thing down or d) invested in a Life Line so the authorities could promptly locate the missing chair. NEXT!!!